Yesterday was a very blah day.
I woke up alone, feeling well-rested but confused about what time it was, since the room was dim.
Tuesdays are the only weekday where I don’t have to wake up at a particular time, and I make sure to stay up as late as I can the night before to take advantage of this sad fact.
I knew there was laundry to be washed and homework to be done, but my eyes were crusty from sleep and my bladder was swollen with existence. I meandered into the bathroom, relieved myself, and brushed my teeth.
I needed someone to eat lunch/brunch with. But did I really? I didn’t know who was in the building, as everyone was most likely in class. I wanted a buddy, but up until this point I feel as though I had been constantly surrounded by people that I thought I could do without for a while.
There was a new episode of Castle to be watched. I brought my computer down to the nearly empty dining hall and started watching by myself.
Eventually I was joined by a few people and I closed my computer and opened myself up to conversation, in my sleeping clothes, bare-faced and all.
It was very wet outside. I don’t think I’ve seen this much precipitation in a long time; I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I did nothing.
In my room, I finished the episode of Castle and tackled a bit of homework. On Tuesdays, I have a single class at 2PM but for whatever reason, I wasn’t feeling it yesterday.
Besides, I’d already done the homework and it was a huge class; I figured I wasn’t missing much.
I don’t know what I think of skipping class, just that I feel guilty wasting my parents’ money, and that I better not make a habit out of it and fail the upcoming midterm.
I spent the afternoon trying to write, losing motivation, getting distracted, and listening to the same music over and over again.
Eventually, I got all dressed up to eat dinner in a different building. I got out my pretty rain jacket and sloshed through massive puddles.
Then I came back. That was the only outing I made all day.
Back in my dorm, I ate here and there, wiping crumbs off my thighs and huddling under a thick blanket. I showered and came back feeling clean, like life was better, and had potential.
I planned to get to sleep early, but ended up watching an episode of SVU. I took a few sleeping pills instead, to compensate, and tried to ignore the constant drip-drop of rain on the window. That shit can be so damn loud when it’s the only thing you hear.
Yesterday was a weird day, and I ended up questioning what I was doing with my life, who my friends were, and how I spent my time.
Does anyone else have those days?
I hate this song so much. It reminds me of someone I’d prefer to forget.
But I love this song!