A rant about self-confidence


I love people who are unapologetically themselves; it is so intoxicating to find someone who loves themselves the way they are. Just don’t be pompous, and don’t impose your confidence on others. Don’t abuse self-confidence. I love confident people, but with certain limitations. People like this are hard to come by, especially in this society.

Comparison is the root of all evil. It greys our days and puts a damper on everything we could ever appreciate; where we achieve something great, someone somewhere has achieved something twice as great. Instantly, the notion that we’ve improved ourselves vanishes, and is instead replaced by jealousy, saturated with a mentality of inadequacy.

Bleh, why do we try to fix people? They are themselves, and we are no better. We should stop wasting our time trying to fix others. We can’t, and they aren’t very broken to begin with. The most that we can do is be there for others, to accept them the way that we found them.

If you aren’t confident, find your confidence. Search high and low, because I guarantee you that while you might exist secretly loving someone, there is someone out there secretly loving you.

Do not put your confidence in other people’s hands. Who are they, but a passing stranger in your life? They’re going to drop it, you know. They’re going to throw it in the trash and walk away; they always do.

What do you have to be insecure about? Everyone gets acne, we all just deal with it differently. All of your scars, stretch marks, bruises, freckles, birthmarks, and tattoos are nothing but paint marks on the blank canvas that you were when you were born. They are nothing but fragments of evidence to demonstrate how much you’ve lived, how traveled and weathered you are. The sun has shone on you, and you’ve grown into something beautiful.

Brilliance is sexy. Knowing and caring about something is sexy. Being able to stand your ground on an argument is freaking fierce. Meaningful conversations and arguments are crucial; you are nothing without them.

Be able to do things by yourself. You do not need a companion to accompany you to lunch. No, you can walk into a restaurant and say to the waitress with a level voice, “Table for one, please.” You can sit in silence by yourself, chewing thoughtfully and looking anywhere but down at your plate. You do not need a phone to scroll through, and you don’t need to make others think that you have friends or are busy, because when you sit by yourself and have the dignity to look around and be content with your situation, when you are justly humbled like that, you gain a level of confidence that most of us do not have the privilege of feeling.

One comment

  1. Pingback: When admiration goes too far | Catherine Zhang

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