What Does It Mean to Be “Never Stationary?”

When I was trying to come up with a cool name for this blog, I thought about what I’d tried to do in the past. Note to readers: This is NOT the first blog that I’ve ever written. I’ve been trying to get blogs going for years now, ever since 6th grade. The quality of said blogs has undoubtedly increased since then, but I started this blog with the intention of sharing it with people that I know. I thought about myself 5 years ago, when I was just a timid little 6th grader. Those days, I had entirely different goals and priorities. I’d never failed a test. I’d never had my own computer before. I had never experienced not being able to pull on a pair of jeans. My personality was nerdy, shy, and whatever you might imagine a stereotypical 6th grade Asian girl to be. Then I thought about who I had transformed into since then. These days, my goals revolve around getting good grades, doing well in debate, and maintaining important friendships, all while staying healthy and lively. Whether or not I am doing well in pursuing those goals is another post in itself, but it has taken me years to understand what I now know. In 9th grade, I looked back at my junior high character and wrinkled my nose in disgust by what I wasted my time doing. In 10th grade, I looked back at the way I had organized my schedule in 9th grade and wrinkled my nose in disgust yet again. It seems as though each year (potentially even each day) I think back to who I was the year/day before and realize that I am not the same person. “Today we’re younger than we ever gonna be.” – Regina Spektor, Small Town Moon The above  quote is somewhat of a reverse description of what I was talking about. We are literally constantly evolving from our past characters as we continue to have new experiences and learn from our mistakes. Furthermore, we’re never going to be the same person again. In the present day, I am currently in eleventh grade. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve learned everything there is to know, and that I am ready to take the world head on. That sort of mindset reminds me of Scholasticism, a method of thought that they used to teach in medieval Europe (thanks, AP Euro). Then I think about it and entirely doubt what I had just thought. How could I possibly know everything that I ever need to know? I don’t even have my own car. I’ve never traveled completely alone, ventured out on my own at night. For some reason, I got really excited when my mom finally let me start shaving. I also felt this way when I sat behind the wheel of our big, gold Honda Odyssey a couple years back. Just recently, when my mom finally handed me a set of keys for when I want to go to the gym by myself, my heart swelled with pride. However, now that I’ve continually been burdened with more responsibilities, those “historic and life changing” events are now old-news. The title of this blog fits extremely well because I know that in a few months, I’ll look back at these first couple of posts with changed opinions of what I had originally posted. I’ll have had more experiences that have changed my view of a concept. When I meet a person for the first time, oftentimes my first impression is wrong. How am I able to tell what kind of person they are from a few, sneaky glances? They’re bound to change, whether or not my presence in their life has a partial effect on their identity. I can hate someone one day and love them the next. Maybe I learned something about them that I didn’t know. Perhaps I was too caught up in the moment; taking a step back and looking at the big picture of our relationship will often help clear up what is really going on. We’re constantly evolving till the moment we die.

7 comments

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  2. Charlie Castor

    Hello there, I think the name of your blog is a good one. You’re probably more self-aware and knowledgeable about things than a lot of people who have lived longer than you. Older doesn’t necessarily mean wiser, and youth doesn’t always equate to inexperience. I’m glad you’ve kept persevering with your blogging through the years. I like your style :)

    Like

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