1,2,3,4 – Plain White Tees, Picture from here.

People seek to solve problems. Big problems, small problems, it doesn’t matter. We define ourselves and what we’re capable of based on our solutions.

The ever-repetitive problem is simple for the young adult: what is love, and who do we love?

The answer to the first question isn’t hard, but it certainly differs for each person. Some are romantics. Others are cynics. I believe that love is neither. Love is not flowers on the first date and a kiss on the third. Love is also not a cruel monster that only breaks hearts and leaves people out to dry. Rather, love takes form in second chances and personal sacrifice. It’s the willingness to take him/her back after a fight. It’s the decision to apologize first and put your dignity on the line. It’s the permission to let the love of your life go because someone else will make him/her happier than you ever could.

Then there’s the question of who we love. Unfortunately, only you can decide that.

There are lots of names for it: the friendzone, the nice guy/girl, whatever. They know exactly who they want to give their love to, but the line’s never open. Someone or something keeps getting in the way. Almost every time, it’s their own fear of rejection. All they can ever do is talk about it to their closest friends, but they never take the action. And for good reason, too; love is something no one wants to just give away. We are born prideful, believing that to fail at anything, even something that should go beyond shallow judgement like love, is unacceptable.