How To Be A Best Friend

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, and I’ve been giving some thought as to what I’m truly thankful for. This is one of them.

A best friend actually listens to you. They don’t just wait for you to finish your story, so they can jump in somewhere appropriate and tell another story centered around them, just barely relateable to yours. When they ask how you are, it doesn’t sound like they’re just going through a checklist, bored out of their mind. They are ACTUALLY asking how you are. The typical response won’t be something like, “Fine, what about you?” It will commonly be a detailed description about your day and what you thought about it. They will take the time to ponder and reflect, and ask questions because they care. You don’t feel uncomfortable revealing something embarrassing because chances are, they’ve done something just as embarrassing.

They come to you with their problems; not only that, but they will ask for your help and advice. They feel comfortable spilling their worries and fears to you. They know that you won’t take advantage of them in their most vulnerable, exposed state. You’ll encourage and comfort each other about your insecurities.

They know how to forgive and forget, because if they didn’t, you guys would have broken up ages ago. They see you for who you really are, not the mistakes that you make. They understand that ultimately, you have their best intentions in mind. Even if they are hurt by the things you’ve done, they’ll find the ability to tell you, not just silently resent you for it for the rest of your relationship.

They will never make you feel like you have to change to be around them. They accept you for who you are, and learn to love all of your flaws and mishaps. Additionally, they emphasize your positive characteristics and make you feel proud to be yourself. You’ll never feel insecure around them, because they don’t want to make you feel jealous or uncertain.

They are always positively minded in regards to your love life, because everyone knows that a hormonal teenage girl is the farthest thing from developed and mature enough to handle commitment. They are positive motivators and support you 100%, no matter who it is…

A best friend likes to hole up with you in random shops, as the two of you talk about everyone and everything that has every worried you. You two can talk about everything you hate, everything you fear. However, there are always positive breakthroughs in which you just sit together and reminisce about life. “Remember when…” “HAHA yeah, good times…”

Best friends make big decisions with each other. Whether it be deciding whether or not you two should dye your hair or how to handle situations with particular people, they are with you the whole way, discussing the pros and cons, and the potential outcomes…

They know how to endure the distance. No one knows better the pains of physically being with your best friend each and everyday. A best friend manages to stay in touch no matter what, so that the two of you are together for every major event, cheering each other on. Distance can be the hardest obstacle in any relationship, but best friends know that the separation will eventually disappear. Whether they live just down the street or on the other side of the world, they’ll find ways to not just chat you online, but video-call or have a phone conversation, because nothing substitutes hearing someone’s voice. There’s something about not being to hide behind a screen, where you don’t have to interpet emotions from text, but rather, facial expression.

A best friend has the capacity to be genuinely happy for you. When someone good happens to you, they are actually happy, not a “OMG YAY CONGRATS/why didn’t that happen to me?” back-stabbing frenemy type of happy. This means that one always wants the best for the other.

They know when you are wrong, and aren’t afraid to say it, because who knows what sort of screwed up decisions you would have made by now if they hadn’t called you out for it? They’re not there just to tell you things you want to hear. They’ll be the one to break the bad news to you, in the gentlest way possible. Despite not being afraid to tell you that you are wrong, they still support you through every stupid move you make. They tell you when they think you are making a mistake, in carefully outlined words that don’t stab you, when other people’s can.

They will defend you unconditionally, and will never be heard defaming you because if there is a flaw in your character that can be fixed, they’ll have the guts to say it to your face, and don’t want such bad words spreading about you. They want to maintain whatever dignity you have. Likewise, if it’s an innate trait that no one has the ability to change, they won’t try to. They’ve already accepted you for everything, flaws included.

They’ve never heard of such a thing as an awkward silence, because there can be hours and hours of nothing but silence in which both people are entirely comfortable. Neither feels pressure to fill the void, because it’s not entirely necessary to always be talking. Sometimes, just the mere presence of one is enough to satisfy the other.

Finally, they’re your kindred spirit. You two have virtually the same emotions and thinking processes. You two can do things that other people would raise eyebrows at. They understand WHY exactly you feel the need to do such things, and even joins you in such stupid activities. Often times, one doesn’t even have to say anything, and the other understands.

14 comments

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  11. tfaswift

    That is a really insightful and intelligent post, especially for someone as young as yourself (by which I mean no offence, it’s just that I’m 38 and there are women my age who don’t seem to appreciate what you do). I especially don’t like that two-faced thing which is, sadly, so common among women/girls. Clearly you have very good self-esteem, which is a rare quality these days. It will serve you brilliantly in your life, career and relationships. :-) Another interesting post!

    Like

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