High school is just a gas station on the road trip of life, and I’m merely stopping through.
I just don’t care about nearly as much as I used to, because my life here is temporary; I’m not going to be here for much longer anyways.
There are so many things I want to redo in my lifetime and in my time spent on this school campus, but the way that I see it, one minuscule decision here could have made all of the difference there. Maybe if I had decided another way on whatever divisive issue, the course of my life would be changed forever. But we can only speculate so far about “what-ifs.” Continue reading
5. Do your homework
I do most of my homework, but some days I look at my pile and all I see is busy work. Meaningless and tedious assignments designed to make it seem as though there’s some sense of order and authority bestowed by the teacher, but everyone sees through it. Continue reading
In prioritized order:
1. Go to a poetry slam
2. Perform in our school’s talent show – this I have put off for 7 semesters
3. Start exercising regularly
4. Run a marathon
5. Attend an EDM concert Continue reading
People are finding out about their colleges and
on one hand, I am so happy for them.
But at the same time, I want to rip my hair out
Because I have hallucinated 6 times today
Cruelly rejected myself 3 times and
Twice ecstatically accepted myself and
Once cold-bloodedly deferred myself.
Tomorrow seems to be a path with two forks in the road
leading in opposite directions.
My friends and I are counting down the days until the first semester of senior year ends, until we can officially declare ourselves “second semester seniors.” Maybe then, I’ll be able to go on a proper vacation, because I haven’t gone on one in a few years, unless you count exhausting debate tournaments or college trips.
And the college process itself is brutal. I don’t hate colleges, I just abhor the process itself. The colleges themselves are merely wonderful institutions full of opportunities, but the process seems to have brought out the worst in all of us. It has torn families apart, it has stressed me out beyond belief, and it has scared me to death. Peers, who used to look out upon the world with wide and innocent eyes, now squint at the sun and scurry back inside to slave away at their homework (a little exaggeration, but that’s honestly what it feels like). My college counselor puts it simply: we are, but should try not to, sell our souls to the devil.
Is it too extreme to say that I no longer believe in altruism anymore? Maybe I’ve been feeling too pessimistic, but it seems like every service project, every volunteer opportunity, every leadership position has just become a row on a Common App, a check on a box, a mask for something to augment, to boost, to plump up someone’s college application.
Senior year. What do people cleverly name their senior year photo albums on Facebook? The beginning of the end? Yeah, something like that.
I’m only a few months into the beginning of the end and already, it’s starting to overwhelm me. I think we get so caught up in everything – the prospect of college, never seeing people again – that we freak out and don’t take the time to fully appreciate our very last year in high school.
For most of us seniors, it’s a drastic change. If we’re not moving out of the state, then we’re at least moving out of our homes. It means saying good bye to our bathrooms, bedrooms, Saturday morning routines, and basically any lifestyle to which we were previously accommodated. Continue reading