Schooling is not the same as education education - it is sacred. Here it is commodified - twisted, manipulated, thrown away with every spit bubble lazily popping at your mouth, every glazed over look you give your teacher Continue reading
You can best offensive man on the pitch
The best target man
You can have a thundering right leg
And faultless technique
People are finding out about their colleges and
on one hand, I am so happy for them.
But at the same time, I want to rip my hair out
Because I have hallucinated 6 times today
Cruelly rejected myself 3 times and
Twice ecstatically accepted myself and
Once cold-bloodedly deferred myself.
Tomorrow seems to be a path with two forks in the road
leading in opposite directions.
I’m standing on a stage, and I feel a billion pairs of eyes staring intently and expectantly up at me.
I’m standing on a stage, and the whispers that float around in the downtime between acts fade into non-existence as I open my mouth.
I’m standing on a stage, and I’m not holding a guitar or sitting on a piano bench – it’s just me, in front of the microphone – no one knows what to expect.
Intense, like running a burned finger under cold tap water
Intense, like debating for 3 days straight
Intense, like the way you devote your life to something unconventional
knowing there are so many reasons for which it could fail, but holding on because of the one reason it might work out
Intense…is the way I feel about you. Continue reading
into uncharted territory
it trespasses onto private property
it tiptoes past safety guards protecting
enforcing a barrier between what i want to feel and what i need to feel Continue reading
Happy first anniversary to Never Stationary!
Exactly one year ago today, I stifled my self-consciousness and started this blog. A year later, I am still churning away at the press and we haven’t seemed to lose steam. Of course, my last few posts have been few and in-between, but please forgive me, as my knees are practically giving in under the amount of work and effort that first-semester senior year requires of me.
We’ve come a long way, yes we have. My first few posts were rather structured: if I published a poem, it had to rhyme. I tried to write at least every other day, following writing prompt guidelines very closely. My primary sources of inspiration were writing prompt websites.
Now, I write free-form poems. Sometimes I publish three posts in a day, and sometimes I’ll go two weeks without posting anything. I pull ideas from tumblr pages and who knows where. Writing has become a whim, a crutch, a go-to de-stressing activity, and I know that I am a better person because of this blog.
Now for some rumination of my own:
Keeping a blog is strange. I don’t check my stats (which indicate how many hits this site gets per day) super often, but somehow over 365 days, I’ve accumulated 404 followers. THAT’S LIKE 1 PERSON A DAY, DONTCHA KNOW? I don’t know who they are or if they know me personally, but it’s super strange to know that my posts show up in the feeds of over 400 people.
I find that the feedback I get is invaluable. People from all over the internet comment and give me advice about how to improve my blog. A couple of months ago, I shut down my blog for a few days to reformat the site. Does anyone remember novice me, with the purple background and lack of pictures? Now, we’ve got a sleek, black new background, with pretty pictures to lure readers. The picture becomes the focal point; it draws people in.
Honestly though, the greatest part about this blog is not that random people in my life find out about it and somehow read through all of my posts, but it’s that I can read back through them myself.
Coming back to the name of this blog, the central theme that pretty much every post revolves around: Never Stationary!
Every post is reminiscent of a different time in my life. Every day is a different attitude, with a different voice, and no matter what the post, some aspect of that day is reflected through the words. Reading back on a dark day, I can scrunch my nose and smirk at how I thought my life was a mess at the time, and see how I eventually got over it. That way, when it seems like everything that can possibly go wrong is going wrong, I’ll be able to calm myself down.
Oh, I don’t know, readers. This blog is such a central part of my life, yet it’s also allowed me to branch out in ways that I never would have imagined. Who knew that I’d also join my school’s newspaper and become a music columnist? Who knew that I would have encouraged my friends to also start blogs for themselves? I can think of four instances where people have seen my blog and decided to create one too. My own sister decided to follow suit. She kept it up for months; I am so proud of her.
Of course, those that like writing for the purpose of writing should not just blog. I love this website to death, and I am absolutely content with my work on here, but I am the way I am today also because I write privately. These private journals are nothing like this site; they are ranty, they are irrational, and they are incoherent. They are angsty, they are emotional, and they are more than 50% of the time in all caps. I would not be able to post a fraction of those entries on this site. One issue that constantly plagues me is whether or not I should be posting more personal entries. Ought I to mention names? Should I write about my friends, the way that I used to? (This Kid I Know, anyone?) I have continually felt conflicted because it causes controversy in my life, do you know? People get upset and constantly misperceive my intentions. But the thing is…I don’t really care anymore. Obviously I don’t want people to think badly or take away the wrong idea when they read my posts, but I don’t want to let that sort of fear limit me and what I write here. I don’t want to write timidly in fear for what could happen, because then I create arbitrary and self-defeating barriers. That’s the opposite of what I want this to be. So, that concept shall stay in the back of my mind as I post from now on.
If you’ve not closed out of the window at this point, congratulations on getting this far!
Thank you for reading :) – Catherine
People handle failure differently.
Some deny it
Some don’t deny it, but blame it on others
Some lie down, and don’t get up
Some scurry away from failure
Some can’t handle failure
I heard you
From behind the column
You were laughing
The sound was inviting